Chapter 6: A home coming in Korea!
Dear All --- You have to read this for your kid's sake!!!
We're fine and well - physically. Emotionally we have been on an exhillarating rollercoaster ride. TCIS is an amazing place to be and after this very emotional week - we feel like we have "come home"! We are exhausted, fearful, grief stricken, panic stricken, satisfied, happy, content, sure, secure, confused and now you have joined our emotional roller coaster ride!
This week the school brought in a professional Christian Culture Transition Specialist, Libby Stephens,
Libby Stephens Director of TCK Services LibbyStephens@interactionintl.org who is the director of TCK Services at Interact International a support group for missionaries, expatriats and International business people. It's a huge network of people who globally connect children, who are global travellers, with others like themselves.
Every year TCIS do this week of support for the staff, as this time of the year most people want to give up and go, but Dr.Penland said to us that he knows how torn one can feel when you are sure God wants you here and you want out! We are not at that stage just yet... but who knows when we will be or if we ever will be? Other's are but at least we'll be prepared. When Libby started to speak with us I thought about all our dear friends in Botswana and how practically all their children are TCK's - THIRD CULTURE KIDS - too. We just never acknowledged it. So I just had to share what God has been teaching us about our children, ourselves and our parenting skills (or lack thereof!).
Janet, Terry, Sara, Coranne, Leigh, Kathy, Beth, Dina, Brenda, Charmaine, Jean, Debbie and Anli I particularly thought of your kids, as I think so many of our concerns as mums we have shared together. We all worry about how our kids adjust to moves, not living in their country of birth / passport or loving a country they don't really belong to but have adopted ; yet hasn't really adopted them back! I hope this hasn't confused you but please see the attached info and visit the TCK website you may see a lot of yourself and the identity of your children in these pages. I realised why I don't feel right in RSA and why in Bots we loved it but it still wasn't truely home because we were always considered "foreigners" and at home in RSA we felt like "hidden immigrants" - we look the same but inside Botswana changed us and then RSA changed on us too - what made us belong was not there anymore and we weren't part of the change.
We have with the help of Libby shed tears - grieved the loss of our birthright - South Africa, our families / friends and now are feeling really excited to support our kids as they come to understand the three questions all TCK's ask (sometimes not even out loud - you see it in their eyes or in their behaviour); 1)Who am I? 2)Where do I belong? 3)Why does it hurt to have your heart in so many places?
I was really overwhelmed to see, that during Libby's 1 session- she spoke about "What do TCK's look like?", Ken sat there and tears just rolled down his cheeks! He and I finally understood who he is and why he felt so sad - Libby says that a TCK is up to 18 /19 years old and Ken became one at 17 but he never knew why he never felt like he didn't belonged anywhere. So he and I have grieved his loss and also experienced a tremendous sense of guilt for our own children's grief and sense of loss they feel at not being able to belong anywhere. We then went through a session of now what? It is so thrilling to think that this experience has so many benefits (too many to mention) but two profound ones 1)Our children are part of the world's largest growing community - the global travellers - TCK's (200 million - 2006) (future leaders etc.) and 2)They have eternity sealed in their hearts - the only place they really belong and will fit perfectly is in heaven with God! Every time we go anywhere we can teach them that the only two constants are *Change and *God. Whew! This is all in a nutshell but we have been through the most torturous but enlightening and intensely profound experience! If any of you want the book the "Third Culture Kid" let us know and we'll get it for you.
We are so blessed and just had to share this experience with you.
Love you all
Chantal, Ken and our TCK's.
Here is some info on TCK'S: http://www.tckworld.com/index.html http://www.tckinteract.net/index.htm
Dear All --- You have to read this for your kid's sake!!!
We're fine and well - physically. Emotionally we have been on an exhillarating rollercoaster ride. TCIS is an amazing place to be and after this very emotional week - we feel like we have "come home"! We are exhausted, fearful, grief stricken, panic stricken, satisfied, happy, content, sure, secure, confused and now you have joined our emotional roller coaster ride!
This week the school brought in a professional Christian Culture Transition Specialist, Libby Stephens,
Libby Stephens Director of TCK Services LibbyStephens@interactionintl.org who is the director of TCK Services at Interact International a support group for missionaries, expatriats and International business people. It's a huge network of people who globally connect children, who are global travellers, with others like themselves.
Every year TCIS do this week of support for the staff, as this time of the year most people want to give up and go, but Dr.Penland said to us that he knows how torn one can feel when you are sure God wants you here and you want out! We are not at that stage just yet... but who knows when we will be or if we ever will be? Other's are but at least we'll be prepared. When Libby started to speak with us I thought about all our dear friends in Botswana and how practically all their children are TCK's - THIRD CULTURE KIDS - too. We just never acknowledged it. So I just had to share what God has been teaching us about our children, ourselves and our parenting skills (or lack thereof!).
Janet, Terry, Sara, Coranne, Leigh, Kathy, Beth, Dina, Brenda, Charmaine, Jean, Debbie and Anli I particularly thought of your kids, as I think so many of our concerns as mums we have shared together. We all worry about how our kids adjust to moves, not living in their country of birth / passport or loving a country they don't really belong to but have adopted ; yet hasn't really adopted them back! I hope this hasn't confused you but please see the attached info and visit the TCK website you may see a lot of yourself and the identity of your children in these pages. I realised why I don't feel right in RSA and why in Bots we loved it but it still wasn't truely home because we were always considered "foreigners" and at home in RSA we felt like "hidden immigrants" - we look the same but inside Botswana changed us and then RSA changed on us too - what made us belong was not there anymore and we weren't part of the change.
We have with the help of Libby shed tears - grieved the loss of our birthright - South Africa, our families / friends and now are feeling really excited to support our kids as they come to understand the three questions all TCK's ask (sometimes not even out loud - you see it in their eyes or in their behaviour); 1)Who am I? 2)Where do I belong? 3)Why does it hurt to have your heart in so many places?
I was really overwhelmed to see, that during Libby's 1 session- she spoke about "What do TCK's look like?", Ken sat there and tears just rolled down his cheeks! He and I finally understood who he is and why he felt so sad - Libby says that a TCK is up to 18 /19 years old and Ken became one at 17 but he never knew why he never felt like he didn't belonged anywhere. So he and I have grieved his loss and also experienced a tremendous sense of guilt for our own children's grief and sense of loss they feel at not being able to belong anywhere. We then went through a session of now what? It is so thrilling to think that this experience has so many benefits (too many to mention) but two profound ones 1)Our children are part of the world's largest growing community - the global travellers - TCK's (200 million - 2006) (future leaders etc.) and 2)They have eternity sealed in their hearts - the only place they really belong and will fit perfectly is in heaven with God! Every time we go anywhere we can teach them that the only two constants are *Change and *God. Whew! This is all in a nutshell but we have been through the most torturous but enlightening and intensely profound experience! If any of you want the book the "Third Culture Kid" let us know and we'll get it for you.
We are so blessed and just had to share this experience with you.
Love you all
Chantal, Ken and our TCK's.
Here is some info on TCK'S: http://www.tckworld.com/index.html http://www.tckinteract.net/index.htm
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